GORUCK Challenge Class
433, Washington , DC , March 2, 2013 convened at Montrose Park
in Georgetown at
0100 hrs. That’s 1:00am for you full time civilians. It would become
simultaneously one of the best experiences we had ever taken part in and the
worst punishment our bodies had ever endured; and we paid for it…$95 dollars to
be exact…and the Cadre kept reminding us of that
fact.
The Cadre is the
supreme overseer of our group of 26 GORUCK Challenge takers (25 males, and 1
female). For Class 433, the Cadre assigned to us was Cadre Matt, who is an
active duty Marine Corps Force Recon corpsman. A corpsman, for you full time
civilians, is the Marine Corps and Navy equivalent of an Army Medic. Marine
Force Recon is a Special Operations group, much like the Army Special Forces
(Green Beret), Navy SEALS, Air Force Pararescue & Combat Controllers, and
Army Rangers. They are the badasses of the baddest badasses of the United States
military. They are the tip of the spear. As a corpsman, Cadre Matt is highly
qualified to provide paramedic services in case we are injured. One of the
things Cadre Matt loves to remind us (besides telling us that we paid good money
for our misery) is that he is in fact there to hurt us, but not to injure
us….there is a difference.
If we are hurt, and
suffering, and feel like the tasks required of us seem too much, we can either
embrace “The Suck” and “suffer in silence”, or quit. That’s a question Cadre
Matt likes to ask often, “Do you want to quit?” Our answer every time was,
“NEGATIVE!!!!”
The first things we
were introduced to were our rules. The first rule is our backpacks, which
contains 4-6 bricks weighing 5 lbs a piece, 3 liters of water, any change of
clothes, and any food we brought with us must never touch the ground. The second
rule is that our three team weights (a 25 lbs briefcase, a 25 lbs sandbag, and a
40 lbs fire hose) that we took turns carrying, must never touch the ground. The
third rule is that our team flag (3’x5’ on a 6’ pole) must never touch the
ground. And the fourth and final rule is that we must never jeopardize the
safety of the group; safety is paramount.
With the rules laid out
before us, next came the introduction to the myriad of punishments that await us
if we broke the rules. Just to name a few that are still fresh in my memory
(both mental memory and muscle memory) are the bear crawl (hands and feet on the
ground, knees off the ground), the crab crawl (like the bear crawl except you
face up rather than down), lunges, squats, push-ups, flutter kicks, low crawl,
inch worm push-ups (your feet on the shoulder of the teammate behind you), and
whatever else the Cadre can think of (and they are resourceful). This
introduction lasted an hour, maybe two hours. Time is a relative unknown as we
were not allowed to wear watches. Let me remind you this was done starting at
0100 hrs, in the dark, and in the cold. In the first two hours alone we were
covered in mud from crawling on the park grounds. I’m pretty sure there were
goose poop and maybe dog poop too, but it was dark, so who the hell knows. We
press on. It was during this introductory period that I had thoughts of
quitting. You think you’re fit, you think you’ve done your job in training and
in preparing for this event, but your body will gleefully remind you that you
suck. Every muscle in your body tells you that you suck, the frigid night air
tells you that you suck, the mud you are covered in tells you that you suck, and
the Cadre confirms to you rather frequently that “The Suck” is precisely what
this event is designed to make you feel. The Suck is to be our home for the next
10-12 hours and 15-20 miles. Good Livin’.
With the forms of
punishment ingrained in muscle memory, we press on toward the creek at
Rock
Creek Park . It was dark, so we turned on our
headlamps. A Team Leader (or TL) was selected at random by the Cadre. That job
was his or hers until they fuck up. I think we ended up having maybe four or
five Team Leaders that day, but again, who the hell knows, as everything becomes
foggy amid the planned chaos. We adopted two heavy wooden logs from the park,
nicknamed The SCUDs, to be carried along our journey. We took turns carrying it,
and oh, The SCUDs must never touch the ground. At one point in the park, we had
to move The SCUDs up a steep hill…we had to bushwack uphill. Since the logs were
not allowed to touch the ground we put our bodies between it and the ground as
we carry/slide/maneuver/curse the log up.
Fast forward an hour or
two, we find ourselves at the Exorcist stairs in Georgetown . It’s the set of stairs from the
movie. If you’re not familiar with it, then you need to watch more movies. We
box jump up the stairs and either run down the stairs, or crab crawl down the
stairs. It’s a timed exercise. Miss the mark, and Cadre Matt tells us to repeat
the exercise. I honestly don’t remember how many times we did it. By the time we
moved on to the next task, the sun was beginning to rise, which was my clue that
it was around 0639 hrs (I checked Weather Channel the day before). The misery
was about halfway over.
Our next task was to
navigate our way from Georgetown and head South to Theodore Roosevelt
Island. President Teddy Roosevelt’s wise tenets about nature, manhood, youth,
government, and something else (really, I was kind of a walking zombie then)
were chiseled on large stone tablets for us to see, appreciate, and learn from.
Look them up online; I highly recommend it. We discard one of the SCUDs. We now
have only one log.
From there, we navigate
our way to Arlington National Cemetery , and did some more stair
exercises along I-395. We were to walk down at our own individual paces, and
then box jump up. We were to repeat the exercise 10 times, after which we can
sit at the top. I was among the first few to complete the exercise. What
happened next is the best thing about GORUCK. Upon realizing that others were
only on their sixth hop up (one teammate injured his knee badly, but chose to
continue), the rest of us who had completed the exercise went down to them, and
continued to do the exercise along with our injured teammate until he completed.
We had evolved as a team to the point where The Suck was secondary to our fellow
teammates. We are a Team. Cadre Matt was pleased. We began to see less and less
of him. He would give the Team Leader our new task, let the TL do his job, and
then Cadre would disappear like a friggin Ninja.
Eventually we found our
way to the Lincoln Memorial where we did more stair exercises; this time bear
crawl up to Abe, and then crab crawl back down. We had our second group photo
here. From here we did buddy caries by the Vietnam Memorial, did some running,
marched to The White House and had our third group photo. From here I was in a
daze. I had almost no idea where we were. I just knew we were moving back in the
general direction of our starting point in Montrose Park
in Georgetown .
The hazy march was filled with taking turns carrying The SCUD, the sandbag, the
briefcase, the fire hose, and being dehydrated. I had water, but at some point
you just seem to forget to do something common sense in nature, like taking a
fucking drink when you’re fucking thirsty. My backpack straps were digging into
my raw shoulders now. I have muscles being put to work that I never knew were there before. You’re in pain. You’re in discomfort. You’re in The Suck. There is
nothing you can do. The thought of quitting isn’t even there anymore. Very
little thought was there anymore. You become one with the pain almost willingly.
You have learned to embrace The Suck.
Before we knew it, we
were back at Montrose Park . I was carrying the sandbag together
with another teammate. Cadre Matt instructed the carriers of the sandbag and
carriers of the briefcase to follow him to his truck, where we put them in his
truck bed. Goodbye 25 lbs sandbag. Sayonara 25 lbs briefcase. We won’t miss you.
Matt then instructed us to get the rest of the team to assemble on the paved
trail leading to the creek. There was some confusion whether we should carry the
log with us or not. None of us remembered Matt specifically asking for the team
to bring it, so we left it behind. It was the wrong choice. March back, retrieve
log, and march to the trail. We marched down to the creek where we were told to
leave the log. Forever. Good riddance log. And then Matt told us to get
completely wet from head to toe in the creek, and then form up at the trail. It
was cold. Freezing cold. If you were sleep walking, you were instantly rudely
awakened by the freezing creek bath. Once we formed up at the trail, we were
told to bear crawl up the hilly trail to where Matt was standing. I dare
estimate it was about 50 yards uphill, maybe more.
Shivering, tired,
delirious, and borderline hypothermic, I was running out of gas two-thirds of
the way up. At some point Cadre Matt was standing over me smiling, asking,
“How’d you like the cold bath?”, to which I replied, “REFRESHING!!!” I try to
give encouragement to a struggling buddy next to me. And then…..something in my
brain snapped…..for no fucking reason. I did a sprinting bear crawl, knees off
the ground in perfect form, grunting loudly, biting my teeth, screaming, perfect
war face just like Private Joker in Full Metal Jacket, with drool foaming at the
mouth. I recall Matt saying something to the effect that I was doing some type
of GORUCK porno. He was amused. I reached Cadre Matt at the top of the hill,
wiped the drool off my face with my glove, and then walked back down to
encourage the rest of my teammates, even helping one by pulling on his ruck on
his back.
Once everyone completed
their drenched hypothermic bear crawl, we formed up where we began some 10 hours
and 17 miles ago, and we did more lunges as a Team, squats as a Team, push-ups
as a Team, inch worm push-ups as a Team, and low crawls. Then, Cadre Matt told
us to drop our rucks on the ground. GORUCK Challenge for Class 433 had come to
an end. Matt congratulated us on our rare achievement, shook our hands, and
presented us with our coveted GORUCK Tough patch, not available for sale
anywhere, and can only be earned with blood, sweat, tears, embracing The Suck,
and working as a Team. Yes, I said tears. I’d be lying if I told you that I
didn’t get teary eyed at the end. Maybe just a
little.